Late-Diagnosed Neurodivergent Adults
“Same reason there are suddenly more stars after we built telescopes.” — Dr. Jen Wolkin
Late Diagnosis
For many adults, receiving a diagnosis of ADHD, autism, or another form of neurodivergence later in life can be both profoundly validating and deeply unsettling.
Rising numbers of adults are experiencing this as diagnoses increase, which may seem out of proportion to some. However, Dr. Jen Wolkin suggests that it reflects our increased awareness of the varied and subtle ways that neurodiversity can present… for the “same reason there are suddenly more stars after we build telescopes”
Relief and Validation
It can bring a tremendous sense of relief, with experiences that previously felt confusing or shameful suddenly making sense.
Difficulties with relationships, work, emotions, sensory experiences, organisation, or simply feeling "different", may no longer feel like unexplained personal failings.
The Grieving Process
At the same time, a late diagnosis can raise difficult questions, that can be challenging to process alone.
Who might I have been if I had known sooner?
Why didn’t anyone else notice?
How much of my life have I spent trying to be someone else?
What parts of me are genuinely me, and what parts developed to help me fit in?
As a psychologist, I work with many adults who have been diagnosed with ADHD or autism later in life, or who are beginning to explore whether they may be neurodivergent.
While a diagnosis can provide an important framework for understanding yourself, it does not automatically undo years of self-criticism, masking, burnout, or feeling misunderstood.
This is the grieving process. Just about every neurodivergent person I know has gone through some form of this.
Many late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults describe feeling different from other people for as long as they can remember.
You may have spent years:
Feeling like you were somehow "too much" or "not enough"
Constantly analysing social interactions and worrying that you've done something wrong
Masking or hiding parts of yourself to fit in
Struggling with anxiety, burnout, or low self-esteem
Feeling overwhelmed by everyday demands that seem easier for everyone else
Being told that you're “lazy”, sensitive, dramatic, disorganised, or difficult
Understanding what you "should" do, but finding it difficult to actually do it
Feeling deeply misunderstood, even by people who care about you
These experiences make sense when you understand how much of your life has been spent trying to adapt to environments that were never designed for you.
I work with clients to help them understand their neurodivergence, but also the experiences of misunderstanding, masking, adaptation, and self-protection that may have developed around it.
Therapy is usually not about learning how to be "normal", but rather about discovering who you are when you no longer need to constantly adapt.
My Approach
Therapy for ADHD and Autism in Adults
I work with adults who are:
Recently diagnosed with ADHD or autism
Exploring whether they may be neurodivergent
Struggling with masking or burnout
Experiencing anxiety, depression, or chronic self-criticism
Navigating sense of identity following a diagnosis
Finding relationships, work, or daily life overwhelming
Trying to understand themselves with greater compassion
Receiving a diagnosis later in life can overwhelming and confusing. Therapy can provide a space to make sense of your experiences, grieve what was missed, and develop a more compassionate understanding of who you are.